Is The way you Gamble Feeling Out of your Control? If so Read on...
5 Important Questions to Ask your self.
How you feel
Do you gamble when you don't feel good about your self?
Do you lose time at work or home over your gambling behaviour?
Do you gamble with money which is for important things like food, school dinners, medication?
Are you stressed when you think about your gambling?
Is your gambling behaviour having an effect on your health?
5 Slightly More Serious Questions to ask Yourself
Do you see your gambling as a time to celebrate?
Have you ever considered or actually broken the law to gamble?
do you think you dissociate when you gamble?
Do you ever have suicidal thought or thoughts of killing your self around your gambling behaviour?
Do you keep borrowing and building up debts to gamble?
A Bit About Gambling When it Becomes a Problem.
Gambling is known as an Impulse Control Behaviour and an addiction.
Gambling can be fun like anything else. It doesn’t have to be addictive, it is our behaviour around it and how we relate to it, like any addiction..
It is thought to be how we interact with these activities or substances and what we as an individual bring to the experience, that causes the problems.
When I say what we bring to the experience, what I mean is our own history, learnt behaviors or trauma associated pain and suffering.
Addictions tend to manifest through a need to feel something different, to avoid internal pain.
Gabore Mate states.
" My definition of addiction is: any behavior in which the individual finds temporary relief or pleasure in - and craves for that reason, despite negative consequences”
I would say, to ignore that there may be a reason behind your negative behavior and suffering caused by it, is to avoid the self.
As long as we avoid feeling and addressing our needs, we begin to lose who we are, losing sight of our core values.
Shame seems to play a big part in people not reaching out for help.
Although gambling has in the past been predominantly men
in recent years, advertisers have aimed at women and have done a good job.
They have marketed gambling to seem more feminine in a very unhealthy way.
Using colours and images they guide women’s sites and advertisements towards a more, conventional feminine form of entertainment associated with gambling. Horse racing,
cards and Pockie machines.
Men still appear to find it hard to come forward, in my experience. Society sees them, wrongly or rightly, as the provider, the capable protector and when these values are lost, men have spoken to me about being so ashamed and unable to reach out for help, that the cycle continues until the impacts are devastating.
Areas your Gambling Might Impact on when it becomes a Problem
Who gets affected?
Problem Gambling has many effects on the person doing the gambling, but also on others around them,
their partners ,children, family, friends and colleges .
Unhealthy gambling can lead people into places they may never had imagined they would go to.
I have worked with people who are professional who have become so embroiled in their behavior that they have engaged in lying, and sometimes stealing, to get the finance they needed , this can lead to prison in extreme cases.
I have supported people who have gone over the boundary that they never would imagine stepping over to feed their habit and to chase the losses.
We all know financial issues have a high stress label attached and how this can impact on all levels of relationships, by the time people come to counselling they often are in a pretty bad place and often experiencing suicidal thoughts.
I hope this information might make someone think, maybe it's best to reach out before I lose myself and possibly others I love.
The impulse is what needs to be addressed and this is possible, it's not easy but it is possible.
The first step is to take responsibility and do the things you can like make an appointment with a therapist who knows how to work with a Gambling Problem and to look at what you can do to support yourself before that begins, such as Gamban for online gambling , GamStop, you can also talk to your local betting office, they should offer what help they can and help you self Ban, this gives you some breathing space to really see what the damage is and find ways to get back to yourself and feeling more in control of the impulses that come with addiction.
"Working with such an array of presenting issues is always challenging and Lee is a counsellor with enthusiasm, patience and passion to meet those challenges but even more than that, she possesses the professional skills and ability to assist those people to manage those challenges for themselves."