Ever Thought to Ask... What is My Purpose?
- Tomlin Therapy
- May 15
- 4 min read
Finding Purpose: A Quiet Revolution of the Soul.
Finding Answers in Life Might ask us to Take Ourselves Outside of our Norm to Slow Down and Listen to the Inner Uniqueness Within.
In a world that often celebrates productivity over presence and achievement over authenticity, the question of purpose can feel both essential and elusive. It whispers beneath the surface of our daily routines; "Why am I here?" "What is this all for?"; and yet, many of us are unsure how to answer.
The Myth of the Grand Purpose
We are often led to believe that purpose must be grandiose: a career that changes lives, a cause that saves the world, or a passion that burns brightly every day. This narrative, while inspiring, can be subtly damaging. It risks leaving those of us in quieter seasons of life; parenting, healing, ageing, grieving—feeling as though we’ve somehow missed the mark.
But what if purpose isn’t always a fireworks moment? What if it’s something softer, subtler—a thread that runs through the everyday?
Purpose in the Small Things, Gestures.
Consider the tender gesture of offering tea to a friend in distress. The quiet focus of planting seeds in a spring garden, watching them emerge into something beautiful. The daily showing up for a child, a partner, a client. These moments may not scream significance, but they are purpose in motion: the expression of our values, our care, our being.
Psychologically, purpose is deeply connected to wellbeing. Research shows that people who feel a sense of purpose often report greater life satisfaction, better mental health, and even improved physical health. But it doesn’t have to come from something dramatic. Often, it arises from a sense of meaningful connection; to others, to nature, to a craft, to something larger than ourselves, giving back.
Letting Purpose Emerge
As a psychotherapist, I often meet people who are searching for direction. Sometimes they think they have to find their purpose, as though it’s a hidden or buried out there in the world. But more often, purpose is uncovered rather than found. It’s revealed slowly, through reflection, experimentation, and deep listening to our inner world, through quite, meditation or mindful moments..
A good question to ask isn’t just “What am I meant to do?” but also:
What lights me up?
Where do I feel most like myself?
What values do I want to embody in the world?
Purpose isn’t always about doing more. Sometimes it’s about being more: more honest, more compassionate, more present, authentic.
The Courage to Live On Purpose
We Can at Times Feel Loss and Fear When Searching.
An image I took and felt this sense of the abyss as I took it, I stood and lent into that feeling, it felt alone but safe.
Living with purpose can also be uncomfortable. It might mean saying no to things that drain us, or stepping away from the familiar. It might require a deep reckoning with what no longer serves us. But there is courage in that—a quiet revolution of the soul.
We may feel a sense ofgrief and loss, even lonliness or we might say aloness. The break through might be to realise, we don’t need all the answers today. Purpose can shift and evolve, just as we do. What mattered deeply in your twenties may no longer serve in your forties or sixties. That’s not failure—that’s growth.
We are often made to believe growth is something we just do, it is a process and can be wonderful, painful, lonely, funny, sad, joyfull, scary, interesting and many more things. Growth is wealth, its just another form, different to money but it does add value and security and safety like money does because, without being mentally astute and strong enough to handle this ever changing crazy world we live in we will become destabilised if we dont evolve and grow.
In the End, Purpose is Less a Destination and More a Direction In Life; I think it lives in our choices, our relationships, and the story we choose to tell with our lives. Not always loud, but always meaningful. And perhaps, like the Camino paths that crisscross old parts of Europe, our purpose can become clearer as we keep walking or by taking time to contemplate away from our normal responsibilities and our busy lives, such as a meditation retreat.
Again we dont need to do grandiose things to look for or find purpose, what we do need is, lots of intention and self reflection, bravery and to allow time and quite.
We Spoke a lot About Compromise and its Role in Finding Purpose on This journey Together, and Alone.
Alto de Perdon The Hill of Forgiveness
The pilgrim sculpture made by Vincent Galbete built in 1996, is one of my favourite symbols of the Camino de Santiago. One of the figures is etched with the words.
“Donde se cruza el camino del viento con el de las estrellas.” "Where the path of the wind crosses with the stars".
Your rewarded with this after a climb of 2.5km climb after walking out of the Spanish City of Pamplona.
There was something very powerful about this climb for me and was quite emotional around self forgivness.
